My Tattoo

My latest journey into body modification was the addition of a tattoo. Master had seen a tattoo on a woman's shoulder and commented that he liked it. Of course this put a bug in my ear... and I got to thinking long and hard about if I should do this.

I decided I would but only if I could come up with a design that meant something to me. I wanted it to be about who I am, the things in my life that held power for me.

In November of 1997, I came up with the design I wanted. It was of things I loved and things that meant something to me. But sadly at the time there was no way to afford getting a tattoo. I put it out of my mind thinking that some day... I would do it.

That day came in March at the Erotic Art Show. I wasn't in the door but two seconds when a man covered in tattoos approached me, asking the price of one my drawings. He wanted the drawing entitled Safe, Sane and Consensual. The price for this original was $400. He told me he didn't have that kind of money.

I discovered the admirer of my work was also one of the vendors, the owner of a tattoo shop of all things. Right away I proposed a deal... trade straight out... a tattoo for the drawing.

In case you hadn't noticed from the photo, my tattoo is the same as my logo. I had decided to use the design from November, when it became clear that I needed a logo for my business card. I had a large version of the design hanging on the wall with my art work and told the him if he could do that on my butt for the trade of the drawing, we had a deal. (And as you see...in 2009, it isn't my logo anymore but the tattoo is still there)

The deal was made. The only stumbling block was that he was leaving town for next few weeks but I would keep the drawing and he would call me when he was ready and had modified the design for the tattoo.

When the call finally came, I was thrilled! Master and I went down to see the drawing and set up the appointment for the tattoo. I liked what he had done and we set the date for two weeks later, when he could set aside an entire evening to do the tattoo, since he knew it would take many hours to do the entire job. I wanted to get it all done at once, and not have to come back to add anything to it.

The night came, and I was nervous. Friends had told me that it hurt, and heck, I thought I did the piercing thing, I have kids, how bad could this be? And if nothing else this was my butt... it had taken all sorts of smacks and never suffered all that bad. I laid on the table, lifted my dress and began to ready my mind.

I now know why it is that sailors got drunk before they went and did this. I know why people do it in many sittings instead of just one night. And I know there are very different kinds of pain!! I found out over the next few hours that there is rhythm pain, that comes at beats, like child birth, and spankings. On - off On-off. You can pace your mind to that beat and deal with the pain. There is also the stabbing pain that is over quick and you only have to deal with the shock after it is over, like that of getting a piercing. And then there is tattoo pain. Did you know that the skin on your body had grain? That as the needle moves over the body making hard black outlines... you can feel every cell of that grain!! And damn!! There is no rhythm, and no time to take and breathe, there is just the constant digging into the flesh.

When it was done... I was pretty sure I wouldn't be getting another tattoo as long as I lived, hehehe. But since then I have decided that should I do that... it will be a small one this time, instead of the 7 X 5 thing I have on my butt now.

For all that... it healed wonderful... and looks great. I had the best time showing it off to everyone. A damn good thing that Master let me show off my butt or I wouldn't have had near as much fun with it.

This tattoo is for me... Master didn't talk me into it... and the things in it represent different parts of me, and my relationship with Master.

The Heart is my heart, that I kept shielded and hidden with the thorns to protect it from the pain of others. The heart is cradled in the rose, to represent my love of beauty in the heart and soul, for the sweet and fragile spirit that I kept hidden from the world. The stars come from the rose and the heart. They stand for being star_gazr. That is the nick I use all the time on Mirc. With the birth of star_gazr all sorts of things began to come freely from the heart. The whip is Master... and with his love, his guidance and patience, and the pleasure of pain, the stars are free, the heart is open and the rose is blooming. The eight strands of the whip are for the common ground he and I share in numerology. In my logo, you will see there is also a Knight on horse, and the BDSM symbol. The Knight is also Master, because if I ever had to describe him, it would be as a Knight. Honor is the most important thing in the world to him. He would have been totally at home in the days of King Arthur. He has been my knight in shining armor in a world where I thought they didn't ride anymore.

June 2001

I have to kind of laugh all this time later about my tattoo. I forget any more that it is even there unless someone says something to me. The symbols still have all the power they ever did but it is such a part of me now. I did crack up the day my son said to me, "Mom, you still have your tattoo!" With this big shocked look on his face. I explained that yes, it wasn't like the kind he goofed off with, it would be there forever. Master on the other hand has a good time pointing out to me that he can see it through my clothing, when I am wearing bike shorts that are perhaps just a bit too thin.

I haven't had an urge to get it done again. I guess I am not one of those folks who got addicted to the whole tattoo thing. I might someday go in and get it freshened up some, the lines are looking a bit fuzzy after all this time but I don't have any urges to go get another one done. I think at this point for me it is way more fun to have Master give me a cutting, let it heal and have a whole new canvas to work from.

2009

After all these years the tattoo is looking a bit broken down, mostly just faded.  We recently hosted a tattoo party for a friend, something like a Tupperware party, LOL. 

I talked to the tattoo artist about my tat and he looked it.  He redid the lines that night and really it didn’t hurt at all like it did the first time.  He did them way thinner and more gently.  Later he will touch up the color too and I will put a new picture up of it then.

The party went on so long, that some of my guests decided a nap was in order, LOL.  I love that my friends feel comfy enough to crash at my house.  I always want everyone to feel at home at my house.  That party went on for like 10 hours, nuts right but from the first guest till the last it was a very long time, there was dinner and drinking, swimming and tattoos.  Really a great night.